What is Grief?  - Some Definitions and Links to Comfort and Support . . .

What is grief?

• Dictionaries define grief as “an emotion of great sadness associated with loss or bereavement”, or “deep mental anguish following a bereavement”.
• Another grief definition might be: “keen distress or suffering especially at the death of someone”.
• But grief is not just deep sadness. It can involve many other emotions of grief, such as denial, pain, guilt, anger, resentment, jealousy, depression, but finally acceptance.
• And grief is not just caused by the death of someone dear, as we show below. It can be caused by loss of jobs, homes and many more of life's stresses.  
• Some people use the '5 stages of grief' to define the process.  These are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.  Read more about the origin of these stages here. 

See below for definitions for complicated, traumatic, anticipatory, ambiguous loss and disenfranchised grief.  

Grief may also include physical symptoms such as shock, numbness, loss of appetite, nausea, sleep disturbances, loss of libido, and many general aches and pains.

In complicated grief there may be more severe symptoms such as those that occur in post traumatic stress disorder and it tends to go on for longer.  Read about how to deal with it here.  

See also our page of beautiful definitions of grief from our colleagues and experts. 

Types of Grief

Grief can be for:

Loss of a spouse

Loss of a grandparent

Loss of a parent

Loss of a baby, child or teenager

Miscarriage or stillbirth

Loss of a twin

Loss of a young adult

Loss of a brother, sister, best friend

No one bereavement is ever like another. There can be death after a long illness, sudden death, accidents, suicide, overdose or self-harm. Loved ones are lost after a murder, or they can just disappear and no-one knows whether they are alive or dead.

Read more about bereavement and mourning

Learn about the causes and how to prevent and cope with suicide

What is Anticipatory Grief?

Anticipatory grief is for the loss of someone who hasn't died yet, or it can be for yourself if you have a terminal illness.  

Examples of anticipatory grief are for: 

• Someone with a terminal illness - see also 'What to say to someone who is dying'

• Missing persons

• Someone in a coma or vegetative state

• Someone with dementia or Alzheimers' disease

Read more about anticipatory grief.

If you have a loved one with Alzheimer's disease, you might find my book useful.  Click on the image for more information. 

What is Disenfranchised Grief?

As well as grief for someone who has died or disappeared, there are many other losses in life which can cause serious emotions of grief. People often don’t realise that you are suffering from grief in these situations, and this is sometimes referred to as disenfranchised grief.

We have a long list of pages of examples of disenfranchised grief here. 

What Is Ambiguous Loss? 

The most obvious type of ambiguous loss, a term which was coined by Dr Pauline Boss, refers to missing persons.  It can also be grief when children leave home, or a relationship ends. 

What is Traumatic Grief?

Traumatic grief occurs usually after sudden violent loss from major natural disasters, war, major transport disasters or terrorist attacks.

See our page on 'Veterans' Grief' for how to cope. 

See also Loss of a Home through Natural Disaster. 

It also occurs after violent deaths by murder, which can evoke many complicated emotions of bitterness, hate and revenge towards the murderer as well as the normal emotions of grief.

What is Complicated Grief?

This is grief that does not resolve itself naturally but seriously affects the person’s ability to function. It usually requires treatment.

Complicated grief may often be associated with traumatic grief, but often occurs in situations where the person is not able to acknowledge or seek support for their grief.

Learn how to deal with complicated grief here.  

RElated Pages: 

Definitions of Grief by the Experts

Best Books on Grief

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and the 5 Stages of Grief

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