Not a peaceful death

by Linda Aitch
(England)

My husband wanted to be at home to die and I did everything in my power to make sure he could.
He was worried about his actual death and I was with both my parents when they died and it was very peaceful. So I told him not to worry as its normally very peaceful.

My husbands death was not. I'm not sure if he was aware of anything as he didn't speak through the hour of his death but just moaned and cried out.

This is 3 months since his death and its still all I think about day and night. His cries of anguish.

Has anyone else had this experience and will it get easier?

Comments for Not a peaceful death

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Feb 03, 2024

Complicated grief help
by: Lesley, Editor, GriefandSympathy.com

Hi Linda

We are so sorry for your loss. I suggest you read our page about whether you need grief counselling. Your constant intrusive thoughts about the way your loved one died indicate that perhaps you do need professional help.

https://www.griefandsympathy.com/do-i-need-bereavement-counseling.html

We wish you courage and strength as you navigate your grief journey.

With best wishes

Lesley

Sep 16, 2024

Exchange
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry your husband's death was not as peaceful as hoped. When thoughts are repetitive and painful, running over and over in your head, it's important to honor what shows up and then exchange it. After feeling the pain for a few minutes, consider finding your sweetest, most lovely, happiest memory, that you had with your husband and think about that. This takes time. At the beginning, you might be leaning in and honoring your grief every few minutes and doing the exchange. Eventually, you will discover that your sweetest memories come up more frequently than the painful ones. My heart goes out to you and I would encourage finding a grief support group who can help you to hold your pain as you find your way through to a grief without the intense pain.

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