Should we move house after bereavement?

Here we discuss selling your house after the death of a loved one, or moving away from your own after a bereavement. Should we move straight away or leave it a while? How does it affect our grieving process? These and more questions answered by grief expert Elizabeth Postle.

We have discussed many aspects of lifestyle changes following a bereavement, but not the very important one of our home. This can be a challenge due to many factors - financial, emotional, social, physical or pressure from family to downsize.

When we are in shock from the loss of a loved one, decision making is difficult. Therefore major issues are best left until we are sure of making the correct one for us long term.

Over the years I have met many bereaved who went to stay with family immediately following their loss. Then they could never face going back to their home alone. This resulted in permanently living with the family or someone moving in with them.

We are all individuals who cope in differing ways. Although invited to stay with family after my loss I preferred to get used to being alone before taking a break with the family. This was best for me and I had supportive friends around. It would not suit everyone.

Downsizing after a loss? Make it your own decision.

If the loved one was the bread winner, then downsizing and a house move may be the only option. Renting part of the home or taking in a lodger may be another. There is a lot to discuss with accountants or family.

Some bereaved feel that their home has too many memories which make them sad, others love the familiar home with all the memories and don’t wish to move on.

Whatever you chose to do make sure it is your decision and don’t be influenced by friends or family.

Sometimes the advice given can be conflicting, with one friend saying you should downsize, others saying stay.

With all the emotional turmoil going on do not make hasty decisions you may regret later.

Before you move house after bereavement, weigh up all the pros and cons

A natural move is often going back to the extended family area where you grew up, being surrounded by family and old friends. Being somewhere familiar helps.

One of the biggest problems we face when deciding on a move can be the loss of our social groups and close friends. If you have to move out of your local area to be near family or for financial reasons, then all your social groups, plus doctors, dentists etc. all have to be changed. A daunting prospect to be starting fresh in a new area. However it could be a stimulating challenge and with the internet we can still keep in touch with all our friends easily.

Another important factor to consider is our physical health and whether we are capable of doing all the chores on the home that has been shared for years. Losing your husband may mean all the gardening is your job too. Losing your wife means shopping, cooking, laundry etc all of which over the years may have been shared. Can you cope with all the household tasks, plus the financial aspects of the home as well?

Families often worry that mum or dad will not be able to cope alone and there can be pressure to move on. But, it does no harm to try for a while. Give yourself a chance to see how you cope with the extra challenges and surprise yourself.

To make any long term decisions take your time and make sure it is your choice. We will cope. Our confidence will return and we want to feel that our loved one would have been proud of us. Good luck with whatever you do.

Tips for clearing out a house after a death

10 Best Ways to Deal with Grief

Recommended Books on Coping with Grief

Where to get help:

Have You Considered One-on-One Online Grief Counseling?

Get Expert and Effective Help in the Comfort of Your Own Home

The following information about online counseling is sponsored by 'Betterhelp' but all the opinions are our own. To be upfront, we do receive a commission when you sign up with 'Betterhelp', but we have total faith in their expertise and would never recommend something we didn't completely approve.

Do you feel alone and sad with no support and no idea how to move forward? It can be tough when you are stuck in grief to find the motivation to get the most out of your precious life.

Online counseling can help by giving you that support so you don't feel so alone. You can have someone to talk to anytime you like, a kind and understanding person who will help you to find meaning in life again, to treasure the memories of your loved one without being overwhelmed and to enjoy your activities, family and friends again.

Simply fill out the online questionnaire and you will be assigned the expert grief counselor most suitable for you. It only takes a few minutes and you don't even have to use your name.
Pay an affordable FLAT FEE FOR UNLIMITED SESSIONS.
Contact your counselor whenever you like by chat, messaging, video or phone.
You can change counselor at any time if you wish.
Click here to find out more and get started immediately.
Or read more about how online counseling works here.

Woman Crying. Get Started with Online Counselling

Sales from our pages result in a small commission to us which helps us to continue our work supporting the grieving.

Hypnosis for Grief - 10 Ways It Can Help You

Try a gentle hypnotherapy track to relax the mind. Learn how self-hypnosis can help you cope with grief at any time of the day or night.

For Remembrance:

Sales from our pages result in a small commission to us which helps us to continue our work supporting the grieving.

Heart Shaped Sterling Silver Pendant for Cremation Ashes, Engraved Forever Loved

Memorial Jewelry to Honour a Loved One

Check out our lovely range of memorial jewelry for any lost loved one. Pendants, necklaces, rings or bracelets, we have them all in all kinds of styles. Choose for yourself or buy as a sympathy gift.

Click here to see our selection

Create an Online Memorial Website

Honour your loved one with their own memorial website. Share photos, videos, memories and more with your family and friends in a permanent online website. Free for basic plan with no ads.

Find out more here.

Find us here:

search engine by freefind

Sales made via this site will result in a small commission to us which enables us to continue our work helping those who are grieving. This does not affect the price you are charged and we will only ever recommend services and products in which we have complete faith.